Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new. – Ursula K. Le Guin
Home is more than just a shelter from the rain. Home protects our hearts from the storms of life, and brings us peace when we dream. Love is what turns a house into a home. The light of love reinvigorates our spirits when we step away from the world at large and find sanctuary waiting. But love is not idle. Love is ever-flowing between hearts. Tenderly we renew our pledge to those we love while giving them their space within our togetherness. Love becomes a rolling ocean between souls.
Many years ago, when my wife and I had joined our lives and hearts, she told me, Don’t buy me flowers; buy me vegetables. Meaning, I know you love me, and I love you, so if you want to spend money on me, make it for something practical that we can share together. Understanding this about her nature was one of the most difficult aspects of our early relationship for me. As a romantic, my mind is filled with fanciful notions and idealism. And as a co-called Westerner, I grew up seeing romantic gestures for birthdays, anniversaries, valentines, holidays, etc. as a way to show your love. But these things lacked deeper cultural meaning for my wife. I stopped creating handmade cards, and discovered what truly made her happy. Happiness is the food of love when made together.
And I gave up the unnecessary customs of holidays, anniversaries and birthdays. For love, I released her from most obligations to celebrate what we did not care to celebrate, and she did the same for me. This is devotion, and not artificial affectations. We share our days together honestly and honor the symbol of our wedding rings – an endless ever-renewing and never ending circle of love. This truth is expressed over simple afternoon tea, and with a kiss goodnight, holding hands as we drift off.
Our cultural and personality differences are mirrored in our character, but are not unchangeable. Within any difference there is still common ground. Accepting one another is the cherished foundation of any happy home. Respect, forgiveness, kindness, honor – fill your heart and home with these and a thousand other positive feelings. Build a heaven of your life together and everlasting love will replenish your souls. Peace.